Do You Know?

Do you know...?

This season marks the twelfth year I've been an assistant volleyball coach for Calvin College, but it is only the 3^rd season I've coached since becoming a mother.  Like the majority of parents everywhere, my worldview was profoundly changed by the birth of my first son.  My husband and I have been blessed now with three busy boys, ages 4 and under.  For both players and their parents I wanted to share with you how motherhood has changed my outlook on volleyball, my approach to coaching, and my motivation for mentoring.  As I reflect on this transformation, I find myself repeatedly wondering, “Do you know?”

Do you know that when I walk into the gym full of volleyball players during those early days of preseason, I am both excited and nervous for you and along with you?  I know how badly you want to be a part of Calvin volleyball and that is why you've run, lifted, sweated, sprinted, passed, set, hit, and served all summer long.  My first instinct is to look you in the eye and tell you that regardless of what happens in this gym, you matter.  Despite what fans in the stands may tell you, you are not defined by your ball control, your ability to terminate a point, or your physical appearance in a Calvin uniform.  Please remember, dear daughter, that you are loved.  If your volleyball journey ends on preseason day #1, God loves you.  If your dream of being a starter remains only a dream as you stand outside the sidelines, God loves you.  If you become an All-American and carry the team on your shoulders, God loves you.  Your heavenly father created you, guided you to this point, and has given me the opportunity to share these moments with you.  And I hope you know that I love you too.

Do you know that I want you to have an awesome volleyball experience?  But more than that, I want your Calvin volleyball experience to be an awesome life experience?

Do you know that my heart swells with pride watching you do great things?  Do you know that I bite my lip and swallow a lump in my throat as I watch you explode with emotion, celebrating victories?  Do you know that when you can't hold back tears because you thought that this year was the year – but it's not – my heart breaks along with yours?  I want you to set goals, chase your goals, and reach your goals.  But dear daughter, I also understand that our wise God uses all things – all wins and all losses, all challenges, injuries, heartbreaks, all accomplishments and milestones – to carefully, intentionally, shape you into the woman he has created you to be.  This season of volleyball, this season of life, is part of his process.  Open yourself up to God's plan for you.  Let him lead you, test you, and mold you through volleyball, through your coaches, and through your sister teammates.

Do you know that volleyball used to be much more black and white to me?  Do you know that I can name the exact moment, since becoming a mother, that I felt God's grace pour over me as he gifted me with a new measure of patience?  That gift of patience, that is so critically necessary everyday in my 'mom life,' has allowed me to slow down, step back, exhale, and see things more clearly.  Except in the case of volleyball, seeing things more clearly actually often means that black and white becomes grey.  My mothering instincts often make strategic decisions more gut-wrenching...because I know the impact they might have on you.  Do you know that I now see you first as a child of God, and a daughter of a mother and a father eagerly awaiting a phone call home or a text update?  Do you know that I think of your parents almost daily, and I sometimes wish I had a direct line to them to share with them that you're okay, you're doing great, you're an excellent volleyball player, but you're an even better leader/listener/encourager/mentor/nurse/artist/biologist/roommate/teammate/friend?  I'd also share with them how much I care about you, dear daughter, and that even though I care about you I still make coaching decisions that might make you sad, mad, or discouraged.  That's the grey.

Do you know that coaching in that grey area is so challenging, and yet so rewarding?  Do you know that I wish I could spend more time with you on the court, but especially off the court?  Do you know that for as much as I want to spend time with you, I also count the minutes until I can walk through my home's door and be greeted by three rambunctious boys and a proud, supportive husband? 

Do you know, dear daughter, that I am so blessed to be here, and to be a part of your life, if only for a season?  Do you know that in 12 years of coaching I've learned more from the women of Calvin College volleyball than I could teach in 20 years more?  You've taught me kindness, grace, humility, community, empathy, perseverance, and love.  And for all that, I thank God, who knew exactly what he was doing when he brought us together!

Love,

Laura Bindon

Calvin Volleyball Alum

Assistant Coach